Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Memorial Day Weekend

I'm not really ready to post about my travels yet, but I have a few pictures from Memorial Day weekend and the weekend before, where I volunteered at the temple near my house- it's called Chaiya Meditation Monastery and they have a food fair once a month. 
Can you read it? I snapped it as they were driving away- it reads SSSNAPE!

At the food fair

Some awesome sunglasses

Over the weekend- I had just started working- and I was a little bummed I didn't have plans for Memorial Day weekend. There was plenty to do, but I didn't want to spend money when I didn't actually have a paycheck coming in. 
But surprise surprise, when I had just settled in to a weekend of surfing the web and cleaning the house, an old friend of my mother's from Maryland gave me a call. She's in Vegas with her husband at their brother in law's house! Am I free?

Of course I am free! This is in one of the hotels. I can't even remember now. The Venetian?

The Bellagio Gardens is one of my favorite places on the Strip. 
These Flapjacks remind me of one of my favorite cartoons, "The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack."

This is my mother's friend. I've befriended her daughter as well, even though she's quite a bit younger than me. The gardens were done up in an Spring/Americana theme- Flags, a lighthouse, a frog made of flowers, a carousel.

the hot air balloons swaying gently

My aunt's (the friend of my mom's) nephew, Justin. He is studying philosophy and just got into a very competitive summer law intensive. Competitive? There are only 20 spots. For the whole country.

Do you think these ducks get scared when the Bellagio water show comes on?

I'm sure at some point I'll get tired of walking the Strip and showing visitors around, but I haven't yet :)

Monday, June 25, 2012

I'm awful to myself.

Is this what they mean when they tell me, "Take care!"

Not just ta-ta.

but to take care of yourself. Always move forward. Keep close the friends you have and with every interaction work on being empathetic. Surround yourself with the people who matter- the ones you're important to. Practice radical self-love. When you need help, get it. Remind yourself that you are loved. Assure that you are lovable.

I realize every hard lesson I learned has made me into who I am.

I hate who I have become.

So, so much in my life has gotten better since I have moved and I'm so very grateful I could do this.
But this isn't where I thought I'd be. This isn't the life I wanted to have or the house I wanted to come back to at night. This isn't home. I have a dream and all it consists of is moving again.
Am I still running?

I made a note to myself to stop hiding. However, I have continued to lay myself much to bare and open, and have become weak. Where is my shield? Where is my backbone? Why can't I get out of my past?